MERRY XMAS 2009!

Minion

Hope u all have a good xmas and are showered with gifts! cuz i am..SHOWERED WITH WORK AND SNOW some where near MOSCOW!

well if u aint happy with ur gifts heres a few jokes to cheer u up...maybe. Cool

An American, a Japanese man, and a Canadian are hanging out when suddenly theres a beeping sound. The American says, "Thats my pager, i have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later, the Japanese fellow lifts his palm to his ear and says, "Its my mobile phone. i have a microchip in my hand." The Canadian decides he has to do something just as impressive. He goes to the bathroom and returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. He says, "Well, look at that! Im getting a fax!"

An 85yr old man on his deathbed looks up at his 81yr old wife. They have been married for more then 50yrs and have 5 sons. Three of the sons have red hair and light skin. The 4th son, the youngest, has black hair and dark eyes. The old man asks his wife, "Tell me, before i die, is our youngest son my child?" His wife says, "I swear to you on all that is holy He is our son." The man smiles, closes his eyes, and dies. The wife turns to the nurse next to her and says, "Thank God he didnt ask me about the first 3."

A man asks his friend "How many legs are there altogether on 3 roosters?" "Uh,6!" th friend replies. "How many beaks are there on 4 roosters?" "Er, 4!" "Well smart guy, how many wings are there on 12 roosters?" "Ah, jeez 24!" "Ok, so how many teeth are in a cats mouth?" "Cmon, guy i have no idea." "Well, damn, you sure seem to know a lot more about cock then pussy!"

For his bday a boy asks for a bicycle. His father says, "Son, we give u 1 but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 Theres no way we can afford it." The next day the father sees the boy heading out the front door carrying a suitcase. So he asks, "Son, where are u going?" The boy says, "I was walking past ur room last night and heard u telling mom u were pulling out. Then i heard her tell u to wait because she was coming, too. And I'll be damned if im staying here by myself with a $280k mortgage and no bike!"

Guard

Merry Christmas Smokie and everyone! Smokie, shouldn't you really know where you are. @_@ I'd trade you your snow for sunshine, though it's only 40 degrees out. Stay safe out there pedobear.

There's a forgotten son in your 2nd joke... I feel for him. ._.
(Is so gonna play the third joke on Josh.)